Toxic relationship tarot spread

Toxic relationship tarot spread DEFAULT

3 Types of Relationship Tarot Spreads and What They Can Tell You

Love and relationship advice is one of the most popular topics people discuss with Keen advisors. But just like there are many types of readings, there are different types of spreads, too. These spreads can tell you about romantic and platonic relationships. Here are three relationship spreads to help you answer your relationship questions. 

Want to get your own personal tarot reading? The first three minutes are free with a Keen advisor.

Types of Relationship Tarot Spreads 

Whether you go into a relationship reading knowing what you want to discuss or you’re unsure, an experienced tarot reader will gather some details from you before laying out your spread. 

How many cards an advisor uses also depends on their own personal style. These are three of the best spreads they might use for your reading. 

3-Card Relationship Spread 

Three card spreads are usually for a lighter read. They’re better for quick insight and figuring out basic dynamics between you and your partner. 

  • First Position: You 

What are you bringing to the table in your relationship? How does that make you feel? Do you think your role, feelings, and actions are positively or negatively affecting your union?

  • Second Position: Lover / Partner 

What role does your S.O. have in your relationship? How do you see this person? Do any of their actions or behavioral traits affect your relationship — for better or for worse? 

  • Third Position: Dynamics 

If you were to describe your relationship in a few words, what would they be?

5-Card Cross-Relationship Spread 

The five-card spread provides details into the past, present, and potential future of your relationship. 

  • First Position: Your Role 

Again, what are you contributing? 

  • Second Position: Your Partner’s Role 

And your partner? 

  • Third Position: Past Foundation

What is your relationship built on? Rocky ground or a solid foundation? What brought you two together? Describe your first impressions. 

  • Fourth Position: The Present 

Where does your relationship currently stand? What’s the dynamic like between the two of you? 

  • Fifth Position: The Future

Do you feel your partnership has potential for a future, or do you see an expiration date? If you think you’ll stay together, how do you think your relationship will develop and grow?

7-Card Compatibility Spread

This relationship tarot spread focuses on the dynamics of your partnership, including areas where you thrive and struggle. 

First Position: Your Wants 

What do you need in a relationship for it to feel like it’s a success? Meaning, what would make you happy and fulfilled?

Second Position: Your Partner’s Wants 

On the flip side, what does your partner want out of your relationship?

Third Position: Differences Between You

Differences between partners can either bring them together or tear them apart. What sets the two of you apart? 

Fourth Position: Similarities 

Do you finish one another’s sentences? Engage in the same hobbies? Share the same hopes and dreams? What similarities bring you two together?

Fifth Position: Emotional Compatibility 

Are you comfortable with one another’s emotions and reactions? If not, can you accept each other as-is, or would that be far too irritating and not realistic for the long term?

Sixth Position: Physical Compatibility 

How would you rate your compatibility physically? What are the strengths and weaknesses?

Seventh Position: Mental Compatibility 

Do you find one another intellectually stimulating, or do you feel your relationship is at a surface level?

Which Tarot Cards Are Best To Get In A Relationship Spread? 

The spreads are just one piece of the pie when it comes to a relationship reading. The cards that show up in these layouts indeed indicate if your relationship is on a good path for the long term or if there might be some room for growth. These are the cards you’re going to want to see in your spread. 

  • The Lover’s: Love is on the way.
  • Two of Cups: There’s a love-filled connection between you and your partner.
  • 10 of Pentacles: Family, stability, and long-lasting success.
  • Ace of Cups: Emotions may be currently running high, but you’re going to be surrounded by love.
  • The Sun: Represents a happy, loving relationship.
  • 9 of Cups: Living in the moment. 
  • 10 of Cups: Joy, balance, and being connected with others. 

Which Tarot Cards Create Obstacles In A Relationship Spread? 

Conversely, these are the cards that indicate obstacles are ahead. 

  • 3 of Swords: Betrayal, confusion, hurt feelings.
  • 10 of Swords: You’re being stepped all over.  
  • 8 of Cups: It’s time to let go of things that are no longer serving you.
  • 10 of Wands: Suggests difficult times ahead. 
  • The Hanged Man: A similar meaning to the 8 of Cups; Put yourself first for a change.
  • The Tower: Unexpected change and/or a crisis. 
  • The Devil: Signifies a relationship that’s overly controlling or toxic. 

Interested In A Relationship Tarot Reading? 

There’s no one-size-fits-all relationship. Even if you’ve been with the same partner for a long time, relationships always grow. If you’re interested in getting a relationship tarot spread, our Keen advisors are here for you 24/7 to chat about your concerns of the heart.

Keen's Editorial Staff is made up of world-class writers, astrologers, psychics, and advisors with diverse experience and spiritual sensitivity. 

Reading tarot cards for people in dysfunctional or abusive relationships

Reading tarot cards for people in abusive or dysfunctional relationships

Most tarot readers want to help. Which is often what draws us to this work in the first place.

Much of our client works centers around helping people with their relationships. Will I get married? Will I meet someone new? Will he come back? Those types of situations.

On occasion, you’ll encounter a client who is in a toxic or abusive relationship. They may be seeking guidance on how to leave…or how to manage the relationship.
I’ve had experience with clients in situations like this and, most of the time, I’ve been able to help them…or steer them to the person who can.

In my opinion, tarot can be a helpful tool for healing but it’s not as effective as working with a licensed therapist who specializes in dysfunctional relationships and domestic abuse. That being said, there are times when a client is not comfortable with that route or they may not know where to find those resources. It’s also possible that they may be desperate and a tarot reader, astrologer or other metaphysical practitioner may be the only person they feel they can turn to.

No matter what the case may be, it’s your role as a service provider to offer a good service and that begins by creating a safe space for the client to talk. Oftentimes, people in toxic relationships are fearful about discussing their situation, especially if their family and friends have not been supportive. A tarot reading can be a calm and sacred space for them. Start by listening and allowing them to talk. Let them share their story and refrain from judgment.

You’ll need to keep an open heart and mind as you listen but also as you give advice. That means no judging, even if they decide to stay with their partner. (Trust me, that is NOT easy to do but free will means respecting other people’s choices, even if you don’t agree with it.) Do not blame, shame or guilt.

Try to stay as grounded as possible, even if you are feeling upset or angered by what you are hearing. A neutral mind is needed. If you cannot be objective, you risk projecting and that may not help the client. If you find that you are reacting to the reading, it may be best to refrain from working with them in the future.

An example: I once had a client who was in a horrible relationship with a man who would beat her and cheat on her. She would only come for a reading when they broke up to see if he would return. The cards always said yes…and he would. And then the pattern would continue. After a few of these readings, I gently asked her why she persisted with this man. “I love him and abuse is all I’ve known all my life. I’m used to it.” She almost seemed defiant. I had to stop working with her because it upset me so deeply that I knew I would not be able to offer her an objective reading. (I’m also not very good at telling people what they want to hear.)  It was simply too much for me.

I recommend that you ALWAYS refer the client to a professional. Tarot is NOT a substitute for counseling, EVER. Have a list of therapists and specialists handy and be sure to share them.

If you feel a client may be in danger, a good resource is The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).  

Be mindful about the advice you give. Remember – you are not a counselor.  (Sometimes they may not want to hear your well-meaning advice anyway.)

Be honest about what you see in the cards. If you see something bad, it’s important not to lie but it’s also equally important that you look for solutions. Follow up questions that are strategy oriented can help.

Find good questions that empower the client. Questions such as “will he change?” are rarely helpful. Instead “what can I do to protect myself in this situation” or “what can we do to heal our relationship” are better because the client will get information that may show them steps they can take to move towards a healthier path. (Sometimes you may try to steer a client in this direction but they may still be fixated on getting the partner to change. You’ll need to explain that they cannot change another person – only that person has the power to change themselves.)

Client confidentiality is a MUST. That means, you do not discuss their reading with anyone. If their friends or spouse come in and want to know what was said in the reading, you remain mum.

On occasion, you may have both parties seated in front of you. This is uncommon but it does happen. Should you find yourself in this scenario, you’ll need to be as grounded as possible. Choose your words carefully but always remain focused on being compassionate. That means for both parties – even if you perceive one person is the “bad guy”. (Trust me, this is not easy. My suggestion: avoid this at all costs if possible. You’ll be better able to be objective without two anxious people sitting at the table.)

If the client wants to bring in the partner in the hope that you’ll “change them”, say no.  This will only put you in an awkward position and it’s also likely that you won’t be objective anyways.  Suggest that the other person get their own reader.

Do prepare yourself for the rare situation where the client may take the information in the reading back to their spouse and use it as a way to try to manipulate the partner with “that tarot reader said you’re a terrible person and you better change or I should leave you.” This could enrage the partner and suddenly, they want to attack you for “ruining their relationship.” If they are mad enough, they may even threaten you or show up at your office looking to start trouble. I call this “getting Hilary Swanked” after a scene exactly like that from the movie “The Gift” where an abused girlfriend played by Hilary Swank gets a psychic reading about her twisted relationship and goes back to the partner and tells him what was said. The dude goes on a bender and then shows up at the psychic’s house and tries to physically attack her. If an abusive partner thinks that you are somehow interfering in their relationship, this CAN happen. And yes, I’ve experienced this.

If that scenario does occur, you’ll need to make sure that you have safety measures in place. Screen any clients that you don’t know carefully or refuse to see people in person if need be. Do not give out your address or list it publicly if you work out of your home. (My clients are thoroughly screened and I only read in person at my office when my husband is around.) If you work in an outside office, you may want to have a security camera installed as well as buzzer to let people in. If you work in a metaphysical shop that offers walk-in clients, you may want to alert the owner to the problem so that they can create safety policies to protect you and the other readers that work there. If you are the person running a metaphysical establishment, be sure to have security measures in place to protect your staff from these types of situations.

If your client “Hilary Swanks” you, you may also have to refuse to read for them (and any people connected to them) in the future. Even if you want to help, you do not want to be in the middle of a dangerous shit show. This may feel harsh, but your safety is important too. You’re not a fall guy and should never be put in that role.

Bear in mind that you can help but you cannot rescue anyone. Your job is to offer support but it’s their job to make a decision to stay or leave.

Do your work, be compassionate, point them to the right professional help…and then bless them and let it go.

“It’s never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when the prison gets shut-down.” ~ Steve Maraboli


Help for people in toxic or abusive relationships:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Love Is Respect

Can I Stop Being Abusive?

Beverly Engel, LMFT, psychotherapist

Lundy Bancroft, Prevention, Response, and Healing for Domestic Abuse and Child Maltreatment

Recommended reading if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can–and Should–be Saved by Lundy Bancroft

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel

© Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2015

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If you are looking for insights into your love life and relationships, tarot card reading can be a great method. Tarot love card reading is considered a powerful practice for divination and introspection since the Middle Ages. Relationship tarot spreads are a great way to get an insight into your relationship status – where you stand, how open you are to receive love, and similar questions. These tarot spreads are a tool for self-reflection and guidance to understand your love life better. Keep reading to understand how to read, use, and understand tarot spreads to improve your relationship.

Relationship Tarot Spreads: How To Use And 4 Powerful Spreads Explained

Shuffle the tarot cards with a clear mind and lay out one, three, four, or five cards in a row. Look up each card’s meaning as you reflect on the specific questions you have in your mind.

A physical tarot deck usually comes with a detailed booklet explaining each card’s meaning. However, if it is not available, look up the symbolism of tarot cards in an online glossary.

If you are ready to shuffle the deck and spread the cards, scroll further to understand the most powerful relationship tarot spreads you may come across.

1. Future Relationship Card Spread


If you are unsure about the future of your relationship, this one-card relationship tarot spread will give you insight into what to expect next.

Whether you have specific questions in your mind or want a general insight into the future of your relationship, this tarot card spread will help.


How To Interpret

If you have been wondering about asking your partner to move in with you, and you pick the Four of Wands card, it reflects success, passion, and unity.

Since there is a lot of positive energy attached to this card, it suggests that you and your partner may lead a happy life. So, you may ask your partner to move in with you.

2. New Relationship Tarot Card Spread

If you just met someone and are curious about the relationship, this four-card tarot spread for new relationships may help you discover what lies in store. The first card you pick refers to your feelings, and the second reflects your partner’s feelings.

The third card focuses on the positive aspects of your relationship, and the fourth one explains the future of the bonding.

How To Interpret

Let us understand how to interpret this relationship tarot card spread. For instance, if you get Strength for the first card, it shows your feelings in your new relationship. It reflects that you have the patience, courage, and strength to pursue your heart’s desire.

Moving on to your partner’s feelings, if you draw the Hermit for the second card, it reflects your partner’s spiritual growth and wisdom. It might mean that your partner considers you as a guide, helping them navigating their lives and allowing them to grow as an individual.

If you get the Wheel of Fortune for the third card, it reflects destiny, chance, and fate. It indicates that the two of you have come together because you are meant to be, and the relationship stands a strong chance to grow.

The final card in this spread reflects the future of the relationship. If you turn over the Sun card for this one, it signifies success and happiness, and you can be assured of having a great time with your partner in the future.

3. Breakup Tarot Spread

Breakups are painful. However, you need to remember that everything happens for a reason and focus on understanding it. The breakup tarot card spread is an excellent way to get a clear picture.

This is a three-card relationship tarot spread. The first card refers to the things that went well in the relationship, the second shows why it did not work out, and the third refers to the things that you can learn from it.

How To Interpret

Let’s assume you take out Three of Cups for the first card here. It suggests that you and your ex did have a great time together. So, what was wrong with the relationship, you wonder?

You get the answer when you pull the second card. For instance, if you pull the Seven of Wands card, it suggests there were invisible emotional walls between both of you, which may have led to commitment issues.

What can you learn from this relationship? To understand that, pull the third card. For instance, if you pull Temperance card, it refers to harmony and balance. It indicates that perhaps your relationship was way more intense, causing an emotional imbalance.

4. Compatibility Tarot Spread


In this tarot spread, the first two cards you pull give you an idea of alignment between you and your partner. The third card, on the contrary, reveals your relationship tone. The tone may not reflect the overall status of the relationship but something unique that may influence your relationship at the moment.

How To Interpret

Here, you need to pull the five cards for a basic cross, reflecting your and your partner’s feelings about the relationship, the dominant characteristic of the relationship dynamic, and challenges or conflicts influencing the relationship’s potential.

Similar to most five-card crosses, the fourth and fifth cards here allow you to learn more about the significance of your relationship dynamic – what might be causing or could cause tension in the relationship? How may the relationship impact your life?

When it comes to tarot card reading, intuition is a powerful thing. It is essentially the gut feeling we get about something that sticks with us. Love, light, and intuition can guide us in understanding our love life, sometimes without us realizing it. Let’s understand this in detail.

How To Read Tarot Cards With Love, Light, And Intuition


The key idea behind intuitive love tarot readings is to let feelings guide you instead of analyzing everything with logic. If done right, an intuitive tarot reading can be the key to unlocking the tarot.

Here is how you can do tarot reading with love, light, and intuition:

  •  Understanding What Tarot Cards Represent And How To Interpret Them

Tarot cards are more like guides that help you navigate your inner personal life, including love, relationships, career, and more.

In general, every tarot deck comes with a detailed guidebook to interpret the cards. However, all cards are open to interpretation. It is more about using the moment to flex your inner light and intuition to understand how a particular card applies to different areas of your life, specifically love and relationships.

  •  Keep Going Back To The Card

There is no harm in putting the card back in the deck after the reading. However, it is wise to go back to the card and think about the message the universe is trying to communicate. Since all cards are open to interpretation, try to think over the message, analyze, and understand its true meaning.

Another important thing to remember is to keep the chosen tarot card back into the box face-up on top of the cards, unlike the rest of the deck that stays face-down.

  •  Follow The Ideal Process For Pulling And Addressing The Cards

To start the process, open your tarot box and hold the cards in your hand. Take a few deep breaths, clear your mind, use your intuition, and ask your spirit guides to be with you during the reading. You can ask your guides to give love, light, and clear messages that will most benefit your highest destiny path.

As you hold the cards in your hand, tap the pile of tarot cards several times to spread your energy to the deck, give the cards a nice shuffle, cut them into three piles, and put them into one pile again.

Now, you are ready to start the tarot reading. Spread the cards on the floor or table, choose the ones you are drawn to, and consult the guidebook and intuition.

One of the most important things to keep in mind here is not to overthink it. While intuitive messages during tarot reading may not always make complete sense, the point is to trust them anyway.

So, when you receive your intuitive hints, thank your inner light and soul for the information and request some more. If you keep following your intuition, you will be surprised with the kind of love, trust, faith, openness, and willingness you will develop to do your tarot card readings.

Wrapping Up

Relationship tarot spreads are a great tool to help you enhance your love life. They allow you to understand various aspects of your relationship and what you might need from your partner for it to blossom. They can also answer the questions you have been worried about and offer more clarity on navigating your relationship with your partner and what to expect in the future. Go ahead, shuffle the deck, and let the universe guide you.

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As Chief Editor, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. She has over 14 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. She specializes in the areas of Beauty, Lifestyle, and Health & Wellness and is proficient in Medical Sciences (Biology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, and Biochemistry). Her background in Biomedical Engineering helps her decode and interpret the finer nuances of scientific research for her team. Harini is a certified bibliophile and a closet poet. She also loves dancing and traveling to offbeat destinations.


couple in toxic relationship

Toxic relationship patterns are often handed down to us from our parents. By their way of being in love, our parents give us our earliest (and most lasting) models of relating. Whether these patterns are constructive or not is rarely discussed other than in counselling.

More often than not, parents with toxic ways of relating are completely unaware of being caught up in any negative and reactive patterns. To them, due to lack of introspection and education, this is just how things are… or they blame each other… and any children grow up also believing that this is just how things are. What is really toxic seems quite normal…

It takes a non-conformist mind and a strong desire to change/grow to break from these negative patterns which are often rooted in co-dependency (most commonly with one narcissistic abuser and a someone who has the need to be needed). And at the very foundation of each one of these negative patterns is a lack of self-love/self-respect which makes it impossible to love/respect others. Sometimes a really badly toxic and abusive relationship can be the wake-up call for change. Sometimes we need for it to become blatantly obvious that something is terribly wrong.

Toxic relationships can be deceptively subtle though. Far from all of them include physical abuse. Are you unsure if your current relationship is toxic? If you recognise any of the signs listed below, chance are that you are!

* Your self-esteem has worsened since you met the other person

* You feel like you are walking on egg shells

* You are spending less and less time with friends and family

* You find yourself apologising all the time

* You feel like no matter what you do, it is never quite enough

* You are starting to question your sanity because of constantly being criticised

* You are shrinking your life instead of expanding it, making poor life choices

* You are discouraged from changing/growing

* You don’t feel free to speak your mind

* You spend more time making amends and trying to fix things than enjoying life; the relationship is a constant roller-coaster of highs and lows – the highs are amazing but the lows are more frequent (indicating a childhood abuse pattern that has you addicted to oxytocin according to Dr John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus)

Essentially, these are all signs that the other person is treating you with a lack of respect. And the fact that you are accepting this kind of behaviour from them is a sign that you have yet to learn how to respect yourself. 

Once you realise that you are in a toxic relationship, you are free to finally begin making healthy choices. The first choice is whether to stay and change the dynamic or to remove yourself entirely from the situation. If you do choose to stay, you need to be realistic about your chances: it takes TWO willing participants to change a relationship dynamic and chances are that you may need some form of relationship counselling for it to be successful.

The only person you can change is yourself. The way to do it is to start by respecting yourself, putting sound boundaries in place and prioritising your own needs.

Sometimes, the most empowering thing you can do for yourself is to simply walk away from the relationship. You don’t owe the other person anything if they have used, disrespected and abused you. In fact, them telling you that you do owe them is just another form of control/abuse. If they are clever at being manipulative, they will have learned to push your guilt buttons early on. Take firm control of those buttons yourself… I recommend disabling them all completely!

Beware of the backlash though. When you finally decide to leave someone who has been draining you of your very life force, they may go for the kill (If they can’t have you, nobody else can either). Most of the time figuratively speaking… but you never know. Don’t make a scene – Be clever about how you exit. Ask a friend to go with you if you need to go and collect your stuff… or just leave the stuff. Stuff is never worth putting yourself at risk over.


Toxic Relationship Tarot Spread

Please note:I do not offer this Tarot spread as an alternative to seeking professional help. If you have suffered abuse, throwing some cards at it will not be enough – you need help, professional help. If you come from an abusive background and have never been through counselling, hopefully this article is the wake-up call you need to get the help you deserve.

Also, if you do find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist and it is clear that this person lacks empathy completely, staying really is no longer an option. This is a person who genuinely feel they have nothing to benefit from changing, so you need to take yourself out of the equation ASAP.

Blessed Be!





Spread tarot toxic relationship

Tarot To The Rescue: Leaving A Toxic Situation

Tarot To The Rescue is a new monthly feature on my blog.  I’ll be tackling different life issues and showing you how tarot can be a valuable tool to help you navigate through these challenges.  As a long time tarot reader, I have used the cards myself to seek guidance, check my own inner compass and find direction through those sticky moments in life. 


Leaving A Toxic Situation

Often in my tarot reading practice, I come across people who are in very toxic, nasty situations.  This can range from bad jobs to addictive relationships to sick family dynamics.  While the logical advice may be to “just walk away” from all that drama, sometimes people remain because they feel powerless to leave.

I know.  I’ve been there myself.  That feeling of helplessness and being stuck is probably one of the most horrible feelings in the world.

Why do we stay in something that is harmful?

There are many reasons why a person may choose to remain even when they know that the situation is bad for them.

Guilt.  Fear.  Survival.  Love.  Trying to “do the right thing”. Not knowing that there can be something better.

Gathering the courage to leave may not come until a person has either done deep reflection, long term counseling or have simply gotten to the point where they see no other alternative.  They get fed up.  Sick of the sickness.

But leaving may still be riddled with all sorts of mixed feelings – fear being the primary one.  What if that mean old boss started treating me better?  What if my partner stopped drinking?  What if I can’t find a place to live?  What if my friend tells the truth?  What if mom gets better?  WHAT IF.

WHAT IF is the slogan of delusion.  False hopes.  WHAT IF will keep you trapped longer than you can imagine.

I’ve done WHAT IF until I finally found that there was no solid hope in WHAT IF.  Only disappointment.  (I still struggle with WHAT IF on occasion.  I am working on that.)

WHAT IF is not practical.  

And this is where tarot can help.  Tarot can cut through the WHAT IF and give insight into WHY, WHAT and HOW – three questions that can empower the querent and help them move forward with grace and courage.

Here’s a technique I like:  I take some time to consider the situation and then formulate helpful questions focusing on my feelings, fears, and different outcomes (no WHAT IF garbage either).  I write my questions down and then create a spread based on those questions.  I shuffle the cards, thinking about my situation. Then I fan the cards out and choose one for each question.

For leaving a toxic situation, these are the questions I came up with:

  1. Why do I continue to stay in this situation?
  2. What can I learn by staying?
  3. How can I honor myself and my needs should I decide to stay?
  4. How will leaving the situation help me?
  5. What is the best way for me to leave this situation?
  6. What is my overall lesson?

Let me demonstrate how this works.  Not too long ago, I had to leave a situation that had become very toxic for me.  This involved the betrayal of a friend.  I tried to hang around but knew deep down inside that once that trust was broken, things would never be the same.  Plus I could see that the betrayer was continuing their ways and sadly, was probably not going to evolve.  Sticking around was a no-go for me.  It was too upsetting and unhealthy.

Yet I almost lingered.  WHAT IF came up.  WHAT IF they became honest?  WHAT IF people get mad at me for walking away and taking a hard line?  WHAT IF I am being too much of a hard ass? Time for Tarot To The Rescue!

Using the spread I created above, here were my answers:

  1. Why do I continue to stay in this situation?  Strength card: this card shows a woman closing the jaws of a lion.  She is calm and powerful.  Perhaps I feel that in some way I can “help” this person by sticking around.  That desire to be the “good guy” is my motivator.  I’ve always been a “helper” personality and have found that many times, I thought I was helping but in reality, I was enabling – or taking on the responsibility for their transgressions.
  2. What can I learn by staying?  King of Wands: I can learn to be a voice of integrity and to master my own inner truth should I decide to stay in this situation.  I can learn how to lead with dignity and honesty.  Rather than “fixing” someone else, perhaps I can develop myself and my own integrity.
  3. How can I honor myself and my needs should I decide to stay? 8 of Swords reversed: by not attaching myself to the outcome.  Not worrying about whether or not this other person will progress.  Minding my own karma.  The figure in this card is bound and blindfolded – reversed, this suggests releasing myself from the situation.  That is not an indicator that I should be hanging around.
  4. How will leaving the situation help me?  7 of Cups: leaving will remove emotional doubt from my life.  I will be able to stop trying to figure out if this person is being honest or not.  I will have more clarity and no more guessing games.
  5. What is the best way for me to leave this situation?  5 of Pentacles reversed: there is not going to be a graceful exit. (I was not happy seeing that card, btw.) I may end up getting hurt or shunned.  I will have to tap into that inner strength that I want to use to help that other person and help myself instead. Charity begins at home.  Develop compassion for myself and prepare for a difficult ending.  Abandon it even if it feels like a big loss.  Put them out in the cold.
  6. What is my overall lesson?  9 of Wands: boundaries with friends.  The man in the card has a wound on his head but he seems strong, rebuilt.  He stands alone and keeps a wary eye on what is to come.  This says to me that my misguided attempts to help someone else (even if my intentions were pure) will only lead to hurting myself and putting myself in a situation that might continue to bring pain.

After doing that reading, it was clear to me that the situation was more about developing  healthy boundaries.  Although my natural urge was to “help”, I would be better pouring that energy into helping myself rather than waiting around to see if this person could be “fixed”.

This reading gave me the impetus to walk away firmly and set a strong boundary.  It was not easy (and I did suffer a few scrapes) but ultimately, the peace of mind that I have had since then has proven to me that this was a necessity.

I am no longer plagued with the WHAT IF around this situation.  Now I can focus on WHAT IS.

And here’s my WHAT IS: relationships based on trust and honesty are the only ones worth keeping in my life.




©Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady 2011

Have you struggled to leave a situation that was not healthy?  How did you deal with it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.  And if you try this technique, I’d love to hear your results as well.

Relationship Tarot spread fast and easy

You dont even think about it. No, then its just fine. When can you start. Come tomorrow. Today Natashas shift ends.

Now discussing:

In general, these are people who have group sex. How is it. Well.

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