Santa banta jokes hindi

Santa banta jokes hindi DEFAULT
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Here are 10 Santa-Banta jokes by Khushwant Singh before they get banned

The Supreme Court gave on Tuesday six weeks’ time to a panel headed by a retired judge to give suggestions on how to stop circulation of jokes about the Sikh community and their commercial exploitation. The top court took cognizance of a public interest petition seeking a ban on jokes ridiculing sardars.

Khushwant Singh, the late author and journalist, was famous for such jokes. Here is a collection of Singh’s best ‘Santa-Banta’ jokes.

Read | SC gives panel 6 weeks to suggest ways to stop circulation of Sardar jokes

1) Santa and Banta met on a village road. Santa was carrying a large gunny bag over his shoulder.

‘Oye, Santa,’ hailed Banta, ‘what is in the bag?’

‘Murgiyan – Chickens,’ came the reply.

‘If I guess how many, can I have one?’ asked Banta

‘You can have both of them.’

‘OK,’ said Banta, ‘five.’

2) Banta said to Santa, ‘I have invented a new kind of computer which behaves like a human being.’

‘In what way?’ asked Santa.

‘Whenever it makes a mistake,’ replied Banta, ‘it blames other computers.

3) Santa and Banta went fishing. They caught a lot of fish and returned to the shore.

Santa: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all these fish.

Banta: Yes, I marked X on the side of the boat to mark the spot.

Santa: You idiot! How do we know we will get the same boat tomorrow?

4) Banta sent an SMS to his pregnant wife. Less than a minute later, the report came on his phone and he started dancing. The report said, ‘Delivered’.

5) How can Santa kill a lion?

Santa thinks and thinks hard and comes to a conclusion: I’ll drink poison and let the lion eat me. O bolo ta ra ra

6) Banta went to a cheap restaurant to have dinner. He ran into his friend Ram Lai who was working there as a waiter. ‘Ram Lai, aren’t you ashamed of working in this third-class restaurant?’ Santa asked.

I may work in a third-class restaurant,’ replied Ram Lai, ‘but I don’t eat in one like you.’

7) Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady. The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, ‘I want to see the view from the window.’

The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused. The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain. Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa’s ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.

Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: ‘Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar.’

8) Banta: Can you tell me what Ford is?

Santa: Sure! It’s a gadee (motor car)

Banta: Tell me what is Oxford.

Santa: Sure, sure! Oxford is baiyl di gaadi (bullock cart)

9) Santa: I’m feeling like a legislative body - Vidhan or Lok Sabha

Banta: What do you mean?

Santa: My stomach is upset.

Banta: What does your stomach have to do with Legislative Assemblies or Parliament?

Santa: I’m passing motion after motion.

10) Santa goes to see an astrologer.

Astrologer: You are the father of three children.

Santa: Oye Khote! I have four children

Astrologer: That’s what you think!

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Close StorySours: https://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/here-are-10-santa-banta-jokes-by-khushwant-singh-before-they-get-banned/story-9rNuyedDUzXUO1GSLGOTXJ.html
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Santa Banta Pvt Ltd

2016 Indian film

Santa Banta Pvt. Ltd. is a 2016 Bollywoodspy-comedy film directed by Akashdeep Sabir, produced by Viacom 18 and distributed by Viacom 18 and Cinetek Telefilms.[2] The film features Vir Das, Boman Irani, Lisa Haydon and Neha Dhupia in leading roles.

Cast[edit]

Production[edit]

The film was primarily shot in Fiji and Punjab.[4]

On his film's association with Viacom 18, director Akashdeep said, "It’s very important to have a corporate firm that believes in you. At the end of the day, I don’t have an all-India network for the film’s release. Corporate firms guarantee a good release. Distribution of films is sheer commerce with no creative satisfaction".[4]

Soundtrack[edit]

Singer Sonu Nigam has sung five songs in the film.[5]

Track list
Track #SongSinger(s)LyricsComposer(s)
1"Machli Jal Ki Rani Hai"Sonu Nigam, Vikas BhallaKumaarJaidev Kumar
2"Lo Aa Gaye Santa Banta"Sonu NigamNadeem Amjad
3"Hit Kardi"Sonu Nigam, Diljit DosanjhJassi Katyal
4"Ishq Karle Anytime"Sonu Nigam, Mika SinghJassi Katyal
5"Tooti Boldi"Sonu Nigam, Mika SinghKumaarJassi Katyal

Controversy[edit]

Majority Sikh state of Punjab Banned the film for allegedly allegedly portraying the Sikh community in a mocking manner.[6]

References[edit]

  1. ^ abcd"My character in Santa Banta ode to Johnny Lever: Boman Irani". Indian Express.
  2. ^"Eros, Viacom18 strike distribution pact". Screen Daily.
  3. ^Akashdeep, Sheeba; Irani, Boman; Das, Vir; Dhupia, Neha; Haydon, Lisa; Kumar, Jaidev; Katyal, Jassi; Nadeem, Amjad (2016), Santa Banta Pvt. Ltd., Shemaroo Entertainment, OCLC 953530279, retrieved 7 September 2021
  4. ^ ab"The rules are his". Hindustan Times. Archived from the original on 2 May 2014.
  5. ^"Sonu Nigam will show his dance moves in an item song". Times Of India.
  6. ^"Punjab Bans Santa Banta Pvt Ltd For Allegedly Mocking Sikhs". NDTV.com.

External links[edit]

Sours: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Banta_Pvt_Ltd

But Maxim, without further ado, began to fulfill his desire. He sucked for about 5 minutes, until Pasha started to finish. Then everyone got dressed, because we arrived at the station, and the stop lasted about 40 minutes. We had the opportunity to buy more vodka, but as it was already late and dark outside - we did not find.

When we returned to the compartment, we saw that the carriage was practically empty, only pensioners were traveling in the first.

Hindi santa banta jokes

And you know, I really felt your support. Last coffee. The short meeting came to an end. The owner is in the chair, she is at his feet.

संता के घर में घुसा चोर - santa banta jokes - santa banta ke chutkule - jokes -

I rush from one part of the station to another. She is nowhere to be found. Frustrated, I look at my watch, I'm already more than 10 minutes late.

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Fifteen minutes later, the fishermen disappeared from sight - they had to catch one and a half kilometers. From the camp, in clear water. Left alone, the first thing she did was to wash. The dust from the road, huddled behind the collar of the dress, did not allow one to feel the charm of nature, its pristine purity.

Lena went to a stream running nearby, squatting down, began to splash merrily, admiring the gem of ice splashes.



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