Sirius punishes himself fanfic

Sirius punishes himself fanfic DEFAULT

"The scars would be reminders to anyone who would see them - that Sirius' loud and proud rebellion wasn’t for nought - that he wasn’t being stupid by not silently disagreeing with his family until it was safe to escape.

But that was just it. It was for nought, for it seemed that Sirius hadn't rejected all of his family's values as they supposed he had. In front of their very eyes, the other Marauders saw this act as a sign that Sirius wasn't who he presented himself as, whether that was due to purposeful manipulation or an alleged 'mistake'.

He wasn't just his kind eyes and exuberant enthusiasm; he was also other people's whispered secrets and his own abrasive nature. He was a smile which hid many things.

Sirius Black was dangerous."

My take on how 'The Prank' could have worked within both Sirius' character and the fact that Snape was an Legilimens - more on that later.
This is a multi-chapter, starting off with the day after 'The Prank' and will progress further, juggling both Remus and Sirius' emotions (probably in differing chapters) and showing how such a horrific displacement of trust could be explained and forgiven.

- Title: How You Remind Me by Nickelback -


Archive of Our Own betaArchive of Our Own


I had to go, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I know you’re mad at me, I’ve tried not to contact you, I just thought I should let you know that it’s not your fault, it’s theirs, I know you have a stupid complex about things you can’t change sometimes.

For what it’s worth, I am sorry. Tell Peter he can have the licorice wands I stored in my school dresser over the summer, they should still be good, I had a preservation charm on them.

Tell Moony that I’m sorry, and that I won’t bother him ever again.


(In the aftermath of the prank, Sirius has the worst summer of his life at Grimmauld Place. Not wanting to bother his dearest friends, and feeling trapped, Sirius escapes to the Muggle World, leaving behind the Wizarding World for what he thinks is forever. But what he fails to realize is that the past isn't over; it's, for a lack of a better word, not even past.)

  1. Metal carports longview wa
  2. Cute cartoon sloth images
  3. Pallet town heart gold

Once the family got back to the cottage with their many bags, the godfathers set up Harry's room with a quick flick of their wands.

"Ok Harry, close your eyes." Remus told him once they finished the room. They had him leave the room so it would be a surprise.

Harry shook a bit in fear. The Dursleys used to tell him to do that, and then they'd punch him really hard so he wouldn't suspect it.

Remus noticed his hesitation and smiled. "Harry, we'll be holding your hands so you don't have to worry about bumping into things." He explained.

Harry nodded and let them take his hands. Harry slowly closed his eyes as they led him to his room.

"Ok Harry, open your eyes!" Sirius exclaimed happily. Harry did so and gasped.

The room had a larger bed with the sheets, blankets and pillows Harry picked out. There was a large bookcase against the wall filled with many books.

There was a pile of stuffed animals in the corner on the red rocking chair and a large, brightly-colored toy box.

Then was Harry's dresser filled with brand new clothes. There was also a large blue rug.

"Woah, t-thank you so much sirs, I love it!" Harry said with a big smile plastered on his face.

Sirius and Remus smiled back. So far, this was the happiest they'd seen Harry. Hopefully they'd see that happiness more often.

"Your very welcome Harry, you deserve all of it, and remember, you don't have to call us sir." Sirius replied calmly.

Harry blushed. He kept forgetting! "Sorry." He mumbled. He looked around the room at his bed and smiled.

He carefully touched it before climbing on it and lightly bouncing. He giggled, but immediately stopped.

Harry never had a real bed before, he usually just slept on the floor and he no normally only had his blood-stained blanket for warmth.

"Harry, you can jump on the bed if you want to, just be very careful so you don't get hurt." Remus told him with a smile.

Harry was shocked. They would really allow him to jump on the bed? One time, he jumped on Dudley's bed and got beat after.

"Really? Isn't that against the rules?" Harry asked timidly. They shook their heads. They didn't have many rules.

"No Harry, we only have a few small rules, and jumping on the bed is not one of them." Remus replied.

"Oh...what are the rules sir?" Harry asked a bit more confidently, but still nervously.

"Well, the first rule is no hitting, biting or kicking, but you should have no trouble following that one because you are one adorable little boy." Remus praised.

"The second one is no going outside without us, we don't want you wondering around alone because you might get lost." Sirius added.

"The last one is always give Sirius and Remus a big hug a day, and tell us you love us." Sirius joked with a laugh.

Harry gave a look of panic before quickly giving both of them a big hug and told them he loved them. He didn't want to break a rule!

"We're just kidding about that last rule Harry, but it would be a good one, huh?" Sirius laughed.

Harry giggled and agreed. Then he realized something. "W-What happens if I break them?" He asked fearfully.

"Well, you should have no problem following them because you are such a well-behaved boy, but if you do break them you'll only have a small punishment."

Harry's eyes widened at the word punishment. He knew that it would be really bad. "O-Oh...what  kind of punishment?"

"Don't worry Harry, the only punishment you'll have is a time out, we'd never hurt you." Remus told him gently.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. That didn't seem bad at all! Normally, he'd be hit or worse.

"Harry, can I ask you something?" Sirius asked. Harry nodded. "What rules did the Dursleys have?" He asked.

"There were lots and lots: no smiling, no laughing, no crying, no playing with toys, no eating until they said, no asking questions, no talking unless I was asked and lots more."

Remus's heart sank. No wonder Harry acted so weird sometimes. He had so many rules that weren't necessary and that was that reason Harry was like this.

"Harry, we don't have any of those rules here, only the two we talked about." Remus replied.

"Really?" Harry asked in wonder. "I don't have to follow the Dursley's rules anymore?"

"Are we the Dursleys?" Sirius asked with a smile. Harry shook his head. "Then no, you don't have to follow their rules anymore."

Harry was overjoyed. He was so relieved that he didn't have to follow the Dursleys rules anymore. He smiled and jumped on his bed again.

"I like bouncing on my bed, and I love my room!" Harry told them. "I never had one before." He said.

"A room?" Remus asked sadly. Harry nodded. "Yes, and a soft bed, thank you so much!" Harry said happily.

"Your very welcome Harry, every little boy should have a nice warm bed to sleep in every night." Remus told him.

Harry smiled and looked up at his godfathers, feeling happy. He had a room! It was much better then his cupboard.

"Harry, are you hungry?" Remus asked. "It's about lunch time." He said, looking at the clock.

Harry thought a moment. He was hungry, but he didn't want to make a decision. He was still a little scared of saying the wrong thing.

"Um yes." Harry whispered nervously. Sirius frowned. Harry was so happy a moment ago. Why was he suddenly anxious?

He picked up Harry and carried him into the kitchen and Remus followed. "What would you like for lunch Harry?"

Harry shrugged. Remus looked at Sirius who shrugged. "Harry, would you like a sandwich?"

Harry looked up and nodded. "What kind?" Remus asked. Harry thought a moment, feeling anxious. What if he answered wrong?

"Harry, can you tell what you want? You can have whatever you want." Remus told him gently.

Harry swallowed and walked over to the fridge, pulling out a cheese sandwich with mayonnaise. It looked yummy.

"This one sir?" Harry asked, looking to Remus for approval. "Sounds delicious, how about some juice and crisps?"

He held up two cartons. One was grape juice and one was milk. He pointed to the milk and Remus poured some into an unbreakable cup.

He then opened the cupboard so Harry could see all of the mouth watering choices. There were cheesy crisps, BBQ, and lots of others.

Harry picked out cheddar crisps and Sirius put a large handful on Harry's plate until it was filled.

Remus and Sirius had sandwiches and crisps as well. Harry waited until Remus took a bite of food before he started eating, just in case.

Harry ate most of his sandwich and a few crisps before he got full. He sighed, wishing he could have been able to finish his meal.

"Are you full Harry?" Sirius asked. noticing Harry had stopped eating and was staring at his plate.

"Yes, I'm sorry but I can try to finish." Harry whispered. He wanted to please his godfathers.

He took another bite though his stomach didn't really like it, but he didn't want to waste the food!

"Harry, if you're full you don't have to eat anymore if you're full, we don't want you getting sick." Remus explained.

Harry nodded and put his sandwich down. "Besides, your tummy  probably isn't used to all this food." Sirius explained.

Harry nodded and looked down sadly at his food, wishing he could have eaten it all. But, he didn't want to make himself sick.

"Ok, Remus and I are going to do the dishes, so why don't you go play with your new toys?" Sirius exclaimed joyously.

Harry smiled in excitement. He remembered all the new toys he'd gotten! He raced to his room and opened up his toy box.

He gasped to find it completely empty. He started crying, thinking Remus and Sirius had taken them away.

"I knew I was too freaky for toys, I don't get toys." He sobbed, mumbling over and over to himself.

Remus and Sirius heard the sobs and rushed to Harry's room, hoping he wasn't hurt. They found him sitting by his toy box crying and mumbling.

"Harry, what's wrong bud?" Sirius asked in worry as he scooped up Harry and hugged him.

"I'm s-sorry for n-not finishing my f-food, but c-can I please have m-my toys back sirs?" Harry pleaded through his sobs.

"Harry, we're not mad that you didn't finish, we knew that you would have a small appetite for a while until your tummy gets used to all the food your eating."

Remus looked into the toy box to find it indeed empty and he suddenly realized they forgot to put the toys in it.

"Oh Harry, we're sorry for the misunderstanding, but we forgot to put your toys in here, they're still in the car, it's ok." Remus told him gently.

Harry wiped his eyes and sniffled. "I thought you t-took them away or gave them back to the store." Harry whispered.

Sirius's heart sank. Harry still thought he didn't deserve toys, he still thought he was still a bad boy. Well, he wasn't.

"Oh Harry, we'd never take your toys away, we bought them for you, so they are yours forever." Remus explained.

Harry sniffed and smiled a little. "Really? I get to keep all of them? Thank you so much! I love them!" Harry cheered.

They laughed and smiled. "Of course you get to keep them, that's how shopping works!" Sirius teased, tickling Harry.

Remus took out his wand and accoied the three bags full of toys. He then put them all in Harry's toy box.

Harry giggled as he looked at all of them. He turned around and gave both his godfathers a big hug. "Thank you for the toys."

They smiled and hugged Harry tightly. "Your welcome Harry, would you like to play with them?" Remus asked kindly.

Harry nodded excitedly and opened his toy box, grabbing a handful of toys. He was happy. There had to be at least 100!

"Will you play with me?" Harry asked shyly as he started playing. Remus and Sirius nodded and sat down to play with Harry.

Harry had a great time! He'd never played with real toys before, just old cracked blocks and a few other things.

A smile stayed plastered on his face for the rest of the day.

A/N: Hey readers! I really hope you enjoyed the fluff! More updates coming soon!

Plz Comment and Vote
Thx Enjoy😘😍



Hohoho my favourite topic. Yes of course I have some recs!

Expected by Leashy_Bebes 
This fic. THIS FIC. If you have ever doubted a submissive Sirius this is the fic that will change your mind. I can not recommend this enough. The characterization is 100% spot on and it’s super super sexy and even has a little bit of a plot halfway through and just 300% yes this fic.

A Knealing Lover by deathjunke
Yes please. Sirius is a dom that Remus trains to sub. So lovely.

The Me I’ve Found In You Is Us by lady_luthienne
sub!Sirius plus Sirius’ praise kink makes me very happy. There is nothing I love more then Sirius kneeling between Remus’ knees desperate to be called a good boy. 

Almost by DarkWitch
Slow and languid. Remus just ties Sirius down and makes him wait. 

Do Something by Eprime
Spanking? Yes please. Remus punishes Sirius after the prank.

Red by TheMessrs
Mmmm yes ties and and fruit and all sorts of lovely things.


Fanfic himself sirius punishes

Despoiling Harry

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The characters and the situations within these fanfiction stories are not my property. They are the property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and others, and are used without permission; challenge to copyright is not intended and should not be construed. No profit is being made from the use of these characters and situations; these written-down imaginings are only presented in an internet forum for the interest of and consumption by the like-minded individuals who enjoy them and recognize them as unauthorized fanfiction only, and are not in any way meant to be confused with the originals NOR presented as authorized materials of these owners.

Fifty-three Stories About Snape and Black
by Amanuensis

Summary: A parody written for the Intimate Enemies (Snape/Black) FQF, consisting of all 53 challenges, answered.
Pairings: mostly Snape/Black (how odd!)
Categories: Humor, Parody

1. Severus' cover as a spy is blown. How does Sirius react to the proof that Severus really is one of the good guys? (Jean Tarin)

Sirius: Let me see. Nope, still hate him.

2. Sirius will do anything to make amnends for the way he treated Severus during their school days. Will Severus accept? (Jean Tarin)

Severus: Lift it a little higher, I can't see.
Sirius: Well, it IS such an awesome weapon.
Severus: Very funny, Black. Oh, there, now I see. "Snape" on the right one...
Sirius: And over here...
Severus: ..."Rules" on the left one. Well. I suppose that must have hurt.
Sirius: Oh, yeah.
Severus: Hurt very badly.
Sirius: OH, yeah.
Severus: Good.
Sirius: So, am I forgiven?
Severus: Let's discuss what you're going to tattoo on your "awesome weapon," and we'll see.

3. Harry finds out that his godfather and that "greasy old git" have a thing. How does he react? (Jean Tarin)

Sirius: Well, you see, Harry, we do have a thing. In fact, all boys and all men have a thing. It's a very treasured part of our anatomy, and we couldn't go pee-pee without it...
Severus: Merlin's tits, Black, not THAT kind of "thing."
Sirius: Oh.

4. As teenagers, Sev and Siri bury the hatchet. (Jean Tarin)

*pun about "In each other's head" discarded*

*pun about actual ground burial of actual hatchet discarded*


"It's rather an odd name for one's John Thomas, but who cares. Slam it into me, Severus baby."

5. Severus and Sirius are stuck in an abandoned cabin during a blizzard with only one blanket. (Tasogare)

And are found by Dumbledore the next morning, both of them frozen to death and with the shredded remains of one blanket between them. The end.

6. AU. Sirius ends up in Slytherin. (Tasogare)
7. AU. Severus ends up in Gryffindor. (Tasogare)

"Delicious meal, Godric. How was your Filet of Greasy Git?"
"Wonderfully rich, Salazar. And your Canine Surprise?"

8. Either Severus or Sirius gets amnesia. (Tasogare)

"You're my lover; I bottom; I wear a French maid costume, but to work, not to bed; in bed I wear moose antlers...something tells me I'm not buying this."

9. One of the pair is blinded in an accident. (Tasogare)

Sirius: My eyes, my eyes!!!
Severus: (fingers bloody spork lovingly) It was an accident.

10. Sirius is stuck in his animagus form and Severus is the only one who can help him out of it. (Tasogare)

"Puppy kibble, boy, come get it. Later, we'll get your leash and go walkies. (Looks at audience) What? I said I could help him--never said I would."

11. Sirius writes Severus a letter to apologize for EVERYTHING. (Tasogare)

"Dear Snivellus, I'm sorry that Adam and Eve ate the apple, and I'm sorry that Cain slew Abel, and I'm sorry that Lucifer rebelled and was cast out of heaven, and I'm sorry that--what do you mean, too sarcastic, Headmaster?"

12. The boys have detention together. (Tasogare)

"What are you here for?"
"Jinxed all the Hufflepuff brooms to fly backwards. You?"
"Painted Fawkes green."
"No shit?"
"No shit."
"Wanna shag?"


13. One of the pair has a strange fetish and is suprised to find that the other enjoys it as well. (Tasogare)

"You're kidding. You like the Ear Wax flavored ones TOO?"

14. Sirius finds out that Remus has been cheating on him. Severus comforts him. (Tasogare)

"I know this is a hard thing to go through, Black. May I offer some comfort?"
"Snape. It was YOUR prick in Remus's mouth."
"Your point being?"

15. AU. Albus decides that instead of living with his relatives, Harry will live with Severus and/or Sirius. (Tasogare)

Sirius: Let him stay with me, Albus. I am his godfather, after all.
Snape: Oh, yes, and that immediately makes you qualified for child-rearing. Even I could do a better job.
Sirius: That's a laugh.
Snape: You doubt me? Fine. Albus, I volunteer to raise the boy.
Sirius: The hell! Come on, Albus, give me the chance. I'll alternate days with someone, if you want.
Snape: Oh, yes, won't that be a stable home life for the child, shuffled back and forth like that.
Sirius: Wouldn't have to. Everyone raising him would live in the same house.
Snape: That's ridiculous.
Sirius: Knew you were bluffing.
Snape: Bluffing?! You flea-infested mutt! Fine! I agree!
(Dumbledore just stands there, holding baby Harry, inwardly smiling at how sneaky he can be sometimes, getting couples together.)

16. AU. Pettigrew is caught sometime before Harry's third year. (Tasogare)

"Sirius? What's for afters?"
"Well, we've got rat pie, rat cake, rat pudding, rat sorbet..."

17. AU. Despite being in the same House, Sirius and James never become friends. (Tasogare)

The boys took one look at each other and glared, and could be heard muttering, "Still the prettiest," whenever they passed each other in the hallway.

18. Post OotP - Voldemorte brings Sirius back from the dead, hoping to find a way to achive immortality. Severus has to save Sirius. (Tasogare)

Snape: Get back behind that veil, you wretched mongrel! (shoves)
Sirius: Aieeeeee...!
Harry: You enjoyed that, didn't you?
Snape (smiling): Maybe.


19. One of the pair catches a cold and has to be nursed back to health. (Tasogare)

"Come on, let me hear you: 'May I please have the chicken noodle soup, Severus?' It just sounds so cute when you're all stuffed up like this."

"Leabe be alode, you borod."

20. Make Severus and Sirius the main characters of your favorite movie, book, or TV show. (Tasogare)

"We're trapped on a spaceship and there's a vicious slime-drooling alien stalking us and we're both going to die horrible deaths?"
"Apparently the author's favorite movie doesn't have a lot of romance."

21. A time-turner sends the pair back to the Middle Ages. (Tasogare)

"Nice going, Snivellus."
"Hanged for witchcraft, hanged for buggery. Whatever."

22. AU. Due to abandonment, an accident, or whatever, one of the pair grow up thinking that they are a Muggle. (Tasogare)

"But I don't want to go away to school!"
"You get to learn magic."
"I don't care!"
"You get to fly on a broomstick."
"I don't care!"
"You get to sleep in a room with five other boys."
"'Scuse me, I've got to pack."

23. During nighttime exploration of the castle, Severus discovers a door that leads to a tropical island. He also finds Sirius, asleep on the beach. (Tasogare)

Severus: If this were Bali Ha'i, you'd be prettier.

24. Sirius looses a bet and has to be Severus' servant for a month. (Tasogare)

"I don't mind cooking, cleaning, back massages, or even the sexual servicing. But I will not dress in a tea-towel and call myself Neebly!"

25. Bad Pun Challenge: Include at least 10 bad puns in your story. Bonus points if they're actually funny! (Jean Tarin)

"You worm, would you really try to get me in your bed? You think we're all in a fever few could resist, over you. You clever, vain bastard. Come freely and get a taste of Sirius Black, that's the song you sing, and a seed of lust is planted in your victim. I'll bet anything you'd try to seduce any man, Draco Malfoy included. You are such a whore, hound. Well, a campaign like that won't work on me. You'll rue having tried it!"
"Oh, for god's sake, Severus, I just asked you to pass the salt."

(A/N: Yes, I had my herbal open. Praise will be heaped on anyone who got all ten.)

26. Sev and Siri go skinny dipping. (Jean Tarin)

"Threesome with the giant squid! Woo-hoo!"

27. AU. One of the pair is an alcoholic/addict. The other helps. (Jean Tarin)

"Put it down, Black."
"Just this last one."
"Put it down and repeat after me, Black."
"'I control the internet porn, it does not control me.'"
(bawling) "Just one more Harry/Draco fic, pleeeeease!"

28. Sev and Siri get drunk/stoned together. (Jean Tarin)

"You're gonna kiss me now, right?"
"You got it."
"And we're gonna shag like bunnies, right?"
"Just like every night for the past ten years of our lives."
"Sounds about right."
"Remind me why we needed to get drunk for it, then?"
"Because the butterbeer was almost at its expiration date. C'mon, give me some sloppy tongue, cutie."

29. Sev in drag. (Jean Tarin)

"It is a nightshirt. A plaid flannel nightshirt. I am not in drag."
"Yeah, whatever. Cute knees, hot stuff."
30. One of the pair has a fetish that the other cannot handle. (Jean Tarin)

Sirius: Oh, come on!
Severus: Black, you shagging Draco Malfoy on the weekends does NOT count as a fetish, you two-timing prick.

31. As boys, Sev and Siri are in a relationship. What went wrong to cause "The Shriking Shack Incident"? (Jean Tarin)

"I'm never speaking to you again!"
"But Sev, baby! Werewolf sex! I thought you'd think it was fun! C'mon, Sev, baby, forgive!"

32. Old Joke Challenge: Include at least ten old jokes in your story. (Ex. I just flew in, and boy are my arms tired!) Bonus points if anyone laughs! (Jean Tarin)

"Who was that witch I saw you with last night?"
"That was no witch, that was my hag! Ooh, I kill myself!"
"Not remotely funny. I went to a fight yesterday and a Quidditch match broke out!"
"Not even. You know why witches ride broomsticks? 'Cause vacuum cleaners are too heavy!"
"What's a vacuum cleaner?"
"I dunno. How many Gryffindors does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"You're assuming we know what a lightbulb is."
"Is that a pun about obeying the Dark Lord?"
"Okay, okay. Gryffindors don't need lightbulbs; they're always on the light side! How many Slytherins does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Slytherins don't change lightbulbs, they get house-elves to do it for them! How may Hufflepuffs does it take?"
"Don't know. They all trip over each other on the way screaming 'I'll do it!' How many Ravenclaws?"
"Only THEY know and they won't tell. Travelling salesman shows up at a farmhouse for the night. Farmer says, 'You'll have to sleep with the pigs.' Salesman says, 'Great! I'm a werewolf and I love pork!'"
"Ooh, that was awful. Why's a wizard wear red suspenders?"
"Because he's Gilderoy Lockhart, he'll wear anything! Hey, I got one more for ya. Voldemort walks into a bar with Wormtail on his shoulder. Bartender says, 'We don't serve rats in here.' Voldie says..."
"I know, I know..."

33. SPOILER CHALLENGE: Sev (and others?) set out to rescue Siri. Both must be alive at the end of your story. (Jean Tarin)

Severus: Let's see... "Black, your mother was a revolting hag!"
Remus: That won't work. He always thought that himself.
Severus: How about this: "You're a flea-infested, rat-eating, balls-licking mutt!"
Harry: Pathetic, Snape. You're not even trying.
(Snape looks at them. Steps right up to the archway.)
Snape: I'm screwing your best friend AND your godson.
(Sirius erupts in a fury from behind the veil)
Sirius: You fucking bastard!
All (with open-armed glee) Sirius!


34. Lupin plays matchmaker to Sirius and Snape. (Twentieth Century Boy)

"Black, why on earth is Lupin running about wearing a babushka and speaking in Yiddish?"
"I really don't think I want to know."

35. AU Humor fic: Snape is secretlt the Lord of the Dance - a.k.a. Micheal Flatly under a glamour spell. What happens when Sirius walks in on him one night in tight lycra pants and headband performing an energetic Irish jig? (Twentieth Century Boy)

"And here, my dear student healers, in this locked ward we have our Incurables. Case number 21034, Sirius Black, has not spoken a word since 1997, though we have found he will whimper whenever 'Simple Gifts' is played in the vicinity..."

36. A very embarassing first-time sex fic involving any or all of the following: The Great Hall, Lupin walkin in, Dumbledore offering awful advice, tacky strawberry scented lube, a shameful score out of ten from Nearly Headless Nick, and large amounts of inexperienced fumbling and red0faced mistakes. Must be post PoA. (Twentieth Century Boy)

"Um, Harry? Why does everything at the table taste like strawberries?"
"Dunno, but I heard Professor Lupin swear he's never eating in the Great Hall again."
"Everyone's acting weird. I saw Dumbledore slipping some galleons to Sir Nicholas and he looked right vexed, and Snape was running down the corridor, picking animal hairs off his robes and looking sheepish."

37. Harry comes of age and wants to consummate his relationship with his boyfriend/girlfriend. He asks Sirius for advice; the problem is that Sirius doesn't have any advice becasue he's a virgin, too, and thouroughly embarassed about the fact. So, to facilitate giving advice to poor, innocent Harry, Sirius looks for help in a most unexpected place: Snape's dungeon (It's up to you to provide the reason that he doesn't ask Lupin, but you're not allowed to make Lupin senselessly mean or inconsiderate.) Unfortunately for Sirius, Snape is also as pure as snow. Now armed with this intimate information about each other, Sirius somehow coerces Snape into spending time researching sex with him in the library, naughty shops, asking bawdy women, etc. Will they out any of what they learn into practice with each other? (Twentieth Cewntury Boy)

"I have to confess something. I lied. I've slept with everyone from the Hogwarts staff to ministry officials and even most of the senior students. I did the entire Chudley Cannons team on a bet once. I lied because I thought maybe that way I could get you into bed too."
"Did you sleep with Remus?"
"I'm sorry."
"What about Harry?"
"What? No, of course not; wasn't this all about him asking you to--Well, anyway, no, not him."
"I'm sorry."
"Not Harry."
"Definitely not Harry."
"...If I forgive you, can we do the thing with the nipple clamps and the spray cheese again?"
"I was hoping you'd say that."

38. AU. The Wizarding World is openly at war with Voldemorte.Sirius is still on the run, Severus is spying against Voldemorte. The aurors are having probems catching anyone, and the press is giving them a bad time. They decide to go after known Death Eaters (Severus included), even if they've been cleared. At the same time, Sev's cover with Voldemorte is blown. With everyone out for his blood, and Sirius so good at not being caught, Dumbledore sends Sev to stay with Siri. (Stacey)

"Look, I fixed supper. Figured you should know what it's like to eat like a fugitive, Snivellus."
"Raw rat. Oh, very funny."

39. Harry & Ron on detention scrubbing the Gryffindor toilets. They clean off enough filth to reveal the graffito "Severus Snape sux dogs dix". They investigate. (Margiejok)

"We should clean this off. Snape'll go ballistic."
"The spelling more than the sentiment."
"Too right."

40. Teenage Severus and Sirius are lost in Muggle London at night. (Tasogare)

"I thought it was a minion of the Dark Lord."
"It was a MIME."
"Well, you could have stopped me before I hexed the bugger."
"Nah, I hate them too."
"You think we'll be here long?"
"Dunno. I still can't figure out why they wouldn't tell us where the fireplace was when they said they'd let us have one call."

41. One of the pair has an annoying habit the other tries to break him of. (Tasogare)

"If you shout 'Tally-ho!' one more time during orgasm, I'm denying you sex for the rest of our lives."

42. Forced to help clean the attic of the heaquarters, Severus keeps finding things that embarrass, tramatise, or even attack Sirius. (Tasogare)

"It was the SEVENTIES."
"*I* never wore them."
"Yes, but your waistband came up to your bloody armpits; don't look so smug."

43. Severus discovers that Sirius' dad experimented on him as a child, leading to interesting results. (Tasogare)

"He gave me suboptimal doses of Vitamin C. Dad wasn't very creative as far as experiments go."
"So you really are a 'scurvy dog,' then."
"I'll get you for that, Snivellus."

44. Due to an accident, Severus is transformed into the cute, cuddly baby animal of your choice. (Tasogare)

"Ooh, a puppy! Sirius, I think you're the obvious choice to housebreak him."
"My arse. C'mere, pup, Padfoot will show you how to mark the Headmaster's study as 'territory.'"

45. Severus discovers that Sirius has been punishing himself for pranks and other "failures" with self-mutalation. (Tasogare)

"You got an earring."
"Yes. It's my punishment to myself for the Shrieking Shack episode."
"You almost get me KILLED and you've decided that's sufficient punishment. An EARRING."
"Well, it's a fairly girly earring, after all."

46. Severus and Sirius are literally stuck together for 24 hours. (Tasogare)

"I told you that wasn't lube. You never listen to me."
"Oh, shut up."

47. Severus finds a wounded dog in the Forbidden Forest and cares for it, not knowing that it is Sirius. (Tasogare)

"It rubs the lotion on its skin."
"BARKBARKBARKBARK! (translation: I have no opposable thumbs to open the damn bottle and LET ME OUT OF THIS PIT YOU GODDAMN BASTARD!!!)"

48. James discovers that Sirius and Severus have been having a secret affair and tries to break them up. (Tasogare)

James: C'mon, Severus, I'm really attracted to you.
Severus: Suddenly I've become irresistable to Marauders. Could it be a trap?...Nah.

49. A messed up charm traps the pair in a faerie tale where they have to play the story out in order to escape. (Tasogare)

"Bags I'm not the one wearing the mermaid's tail!"

50. Severus finds Sirius in an embarassing situation. (Tasogare)

Severus: It's fine, really.
Sirius: No, it's not.
Severus: We can just cuddle.

51. Harry finds a picture of Sirius and Severus being more friendly than he thought possible and wants and explanation. (Tasogare)

Sirius: Um, I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said he'd been bitten by a snake and I was trying to suck out the venom?
Harry: NO.

52. AU. What if Harry had seen something different in Snape's pensive or saw more memories? What would he have seen? (Tasogare)

Harry: Sirius, I just saw a memory of Snape in a revival of South Pacific singing "Younger Than Springtime." May I borrow that spork, please?

53. Sirius buys Severus a Christmas or birthday present. (Tasogare)

"This 'eye-book' seems more trouble than it's worth...All right, I've opened this thing you call a "browser," and as instructed, I'm typing in..., why on earth would this interest m--OH MY GOD!!!"


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Sirius \u0026 Regulus - Black Flies

Two months later...

"Sirius Black, are you trying to convince me that you did not cast an illegal hex on Bertram Aubrey with Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall asked, staring down at him in disbelief.  

"No," Sirius replied, standing up, "I am trying to convince you that it was not James's fault and that I alone made poor Bertram's head grow twice its size. Prongs-I mean James just so happened to be there at the time."  

"But, Mr. Black, that is not what Bertram said," McGonagall pointed out, "And that is not what Potter said, either. Bertram said that you both did it, Potter said that he did it, and now you're trying to convince me that you did it alone. So, who is it I should believe?"  

"Well, it doesn't really matter who you choose to believe, because no matter what at least one of us is getting punished," Sirius said.  

"So, are you telling me that I should punish you both?" McGonagall suggested, "Because I am perfectly willing to do that."  

"No. I am telling you that you should just punish me, but if you think you must then go right ahead."  

"Well, I think I must," she said, "Would you please open the door and let Aubrey and Potter in?"  

Sirius shrugged and walked to the door to open it.  

"What's the verdict, Padfoot?" James asked, smiling hopefully.  

"I'm sorry to say it, mate," Sirius replied, "But we're both in trouble. Again."  

"Oh, come on, Lily," Rowan whispered as she stowed some books onto the top of one of the many bookshelves in the library. "That's ridiculous. Why would Sirius do that?"  

"Don't shoot the messenger," Lily defended, "I heard it from Alice, who heard it from Frank, who heard it from Peter, who heard it from Remus, who heard it from Sirius himself as he and James were being dragged away by their ears."  

"I will shoot the messenger for telling me this during my detention," Rowan threatened, "I'll get into even more trouble if the librarian catches me talking to you."  

"What did you do, exactly?"  

"Out past curfew with Sirius," she replied, "He tried to help me get out of there but the gamekeeper caught us. What's that guy's name again? Hagrid?"  

"I think so," Lily muttered, "Rubeus Hagrid, I think."  

"Well, he didn't really mean to catch us," Rowan explained, "It was sort of an accident; we were hiding behind a bunch of these huge pumpkins and he came out and sort of yelled in surprise, and his voice carries a lot, so the Slytherin Prefects who were following us knew exactly where to find us in the dark."  

"Well didn't Sirius get punished?" Lily asked.  

"Yes," Rowan replied, "He had to write about a million lines yesterday while I'm stuck here, sorting out every single book in this part of the library, and tomorrow I'm stuck with the restricted section. Once it's all fixed, I'm free, but until then I have to keep doing this until the library is absolutely perfect."  

"But that's nearly impossible," Lily said, "Everybody goes to the library and everybody takes books off the shelves. That's the most ridiculous detention I've ever heard of."  

"I know," Rowan agreed, "They're trying to get it into my head not to be as much of a troublemaker as my boyfriend. For him, they know it's hopeless so they just keep giving him a variety of different punishments to see if any of them will work."  


Now discussing:

It was terribly painful and also offensive. Sasha, who until now had the privilege of staring at my legs under the skirt and on the neckline (in general, nothing obscene). Now saw my panties.

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